Hello, my name is Rebecca. I'm known as Beckie0 on YouTube. This is my journal about my experiences with Trichotillomania.

beckie0:

I spent today with the wonderful Jessica! :).

It’s been a bad week for pulling, eating and sleeping - I do look odd :(. But the hair is a surprise :). I was shocked at how my hair stayed like that for about 40 minutes! Also, it looks long in this photo, it’s most peculiar!

beckie0:

I spent today with the wonderful Jessica! :).

It’s been a bad week for pulling, eating and sleeping - I do look odd :(. But the hair is a surprise :). I was shocked at how my hair stayed like that for about 40 minutes! Also, it looks long in this photo, it’s most peculiar!

— 2 days ago with 77 notes

The Speakmans? - Again?

I have opinions on today’s “The Speakmans” interview concerning their “successful” treatments with Trichotillomania. I just want to hold off for a bit - I’ve had a wonderful day out and I’m literally moving out tonight. To summarise for now, I’m not impressed and angered, but I’ll hold off till I’ve had a chance to think and reflect.

— 2 days ago with 18 notes

#trichotillomania  #the speakmans  #trich  #this morning 
I never posted this because of what followed.
I honestly feel that day set me back tremendously, it’s the reason why I’m pulling, it’s the reason why I’m put back two years, it’s the reason why I put my wig back on again, it’s the reason why I couldn’t look at myself in editing for two months, it’s the reason why I’m now terrified of hair dressers, why I cry when I see in my mirror what was left and how every millimetre is now worth a mile.
People don’t believe me when I say I was traumatised and how a lasting effect these sorts of things can have on a Tricher. They do - I’m still upset.

I never posted this because of what followed.

I honestly feel that day set me back tremendously, it’s the reason why I’m pulling, it’s the reason why I’m put back two years, it’s the reason why I put my wig back on again, it’s the reason why I couldn’t look at myself in editing for two months, it’s the reason why I’m now terrified of hair dressers, why I cry when I see in my mirror what was left and how every millimetre is now worth a mile.

People don’t believe me when I say I was traumatised and how a lasting effect these sorts of things can have on a Tricher. They do - I’m still upset.

— 3 days ago with 47 notes

#trichotillomania  #trichjournal  #hair cut 
Hurting.

I have a routine in the shower, I have to leave my conditioner on for a period of time. Usually whilst it’s on, I’ll wash my face or shave - but as everything is in boxes to go tomorrow, I only had the two bottles of stuff.

I don’t even know how it started, one minute I’m putting on the conditioner, next I have eyebrow strands all over my finger tips.

My empty room is covered in hair, my bed spread, the window sills, the desk, even my shoulders are covered.

Additionally, I’ve finally started regrowth in my fringe from about six months ago, I can feel all the new hairs (like stubble) and it’s taking everything within me not to sit with my mirror and tweezers.

I want to tear every strand from my skull, but I want long hair. It’s not fair.

— 3 days ago with 55 notes

#moving out  #trichotillomania 

I have a feeling that The Speakmans could be up to something this week. If anything does happen, please could someone let me know?

— 4 days ago with 9 notes

#trichotillomania  #trichjournal 
Concerned.

I am seriously concerned with this take over of BFRB’s in our community and TLC (Trichotillomania Learning Centre) rebranding.

I really disapprove of how Trichotillomania is losing it’s individuality by being grouped with other conditions such as nose picking, chin chewing, scab picking, skin picking and how it’s no longer being referred to by it’s name in conversation or awareness, but as it’s group name.

BFRB is a really fiddly term to remember and type, I’m not sure where it’s come from but I don’t think it’s memorable or suitable . I struggle to remember what it is and constantly fuss over which order to type my letters (those specific letters are so similar when side by side too!).

I’m already experiencing shared confusion from my followers about BFRB’s. What it stands for. What they are? Is BFRB a disorder on it’s own? If we have a BFRB do we have all that come under it? Do I now call my disorder BFRB and forget the name for my individual disorder?

Furthermore, is this a term that will die out? By this I mean, that I’m concerned that the terminology surrounding our disorders keep changing every few years - could this potentially change in two years time? We could build and alter our community to accommodate this name/group name and then it could suddenly be incorrect in 2017.

Do we have to take on board the BFRB term in the first place? Friends are saying not to worry, but as the big companies and DSM are altering, that means we all need to follow suit.

Please understand that yes, I want awareness for all, but not at the cost of losing awareness and diminishing my own disorder. If it’s now only to be referred to as a group term “BFRB” it could be lost amongst a group of things.

For example: Anorexia and Bulimia are put under the same umbrella ‘Eating Disorders’ - but they are not the same disorder. It causes confusion when someone says they have an Eating Disorder because there is more than one. Which one do you have, be more specific?

As someone who does so much talking on behalf of this disorder, I’m now under pressure to take on board all these changes and educate with the new terminology/rules and I do not feel knowledgable of all these disorders to the extent required or even comfortable to do so right now.

Yes all disorders deserve awareness but grouping them together isn’t necessarily the way to go. I feel we’re pushing so well with awareness and all this BFRB stuff is just going to cloud the waters and cause more confusion. Trichotillomania is complicated enough without having to add the worries and explanations of a handful of other disorders alongside.

*BFRBD’s stands for Body Focused Repetitive Behaviour Disorders.

— 4 days ago with 75 notes

#tw  #trichotillomania  #dermotillomania  #excoriation disorder  #bfrb  #bfrbawareness 

Feeling very overwhelmed by all this new BFRB stuff that I now have to learn and promote. I feel like it’s being shoved down my throat :(.

— 5 days ago with 13 notes

#bfrb  #trichotillomania 
Trichotillomania in French

I read a comment from one of you to say that there is little information in French for Trichotillomania. I am learning French, but I’m not perfect, I hope this helps a little and I’m sorry for my mistakes:

Salut, je m’appelle Rebecca.
J’ai la Trichotillomanie (Trichotillomania).
J’ai eu cette maladie depuis plus d’une décennie.

Qu’est-ce que la Trichotillomanie?
La Trichotillomanie est difficile à résumer.
Je m’arrache mèche de cheveux par mèche qui se traduit par la calvitie.
La Trichotillomanie touche 2-4% de la population mondiale.
Il n’est pas rare, mais un trouble inconnu.


Il est plus que juste tirer les cheveux, car il peut apporter sur la dépression, l’anxiété et d’autres troubles trop.


Il y a peu de recherche pour la Trichotillomanie, certains disent que c’est héréditaire, d’autres disent que c’est un comportement appris - nous sommes encore dans les premières étapes de la recherche.

Parfois, il peut être très difficile d’avoir ce trouble.
Mais nous devons nous rappeler que nous ne sommes pas seuls, et nous sommes fort et beau.

Voici quelques liens qui peuvent vous aider:

http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomanie

http://www.trich.de/

youtube.com/trichjournal

Trich.org

Unfortunately, most of the URL’s I have link to English speaking websites, but I did go looking! :(.

— 5 days ago with 27 notes

#trichotillomania  #trichotillomanie  #trich  #ttm  #french 
Names changing?!

Apparently, Dermatillomania as a name, is being phased out. The new name: Excoriation disorder - is now being enforced. Furthermore, I’ve heard about Trichotillomania being renamed to Trichotillia - which I strongly oppose. This is all news to me and I want to research further into all this, but for now, I rather shaken up by all these changes that I’ve been presented today. These may be little things, but they shake up people’s lives in ways that the big organisations/medical systems can’t comprehend.

— 5 days ago with 77 notes

#trichotillomania  #trichotillia  #dermatillomania  #Excoriation disorder 
I do not agree with merging all BFRB’s together.

trichjournal:

Although I want awareness and help for all, I really dislike how TLC are turning into ‘BFRB’s Organisation’. They appear to be rebranding on all social media and also rebranding their products/awareness info. (Though they still work under Trich.org and call their conferences TLC).

In my opinion, Dermatillomania (skin picking) is a completely different disorder to Trichotillomania (hair pulling). I’ve experienced both and I know there are stark differences between them. 

A broken arm is similar to a broken leg and although elements of the fracture and treatment are the same, they have their differences. In TLC constantly smashing the two disorders together - it is so confusing. Outsiders to the conditions, believe they are one, that Trichers tear at skin and Derma’s tear out their hair. Even articles that have written about me have called my hair pulling, Dermatillomania :/.

I’ve been under pressure to talk more about Derma and I just do not feel knowledgable enough to do so. I feel it’s not my place, another person with more experience should step into the light. It would be good to have others talking, not just me. (EDIT: I’m aware of people talking! I’ve met Angela, spoken to sufferers, looked at the tags! I just feel that another person really pushing awareness of that condition alongside me, together would be amazing!) I appreciate that Dermatillomania has even less exposure than Trichotillomania and needs support too, but we need to be crystal clear with these disorders, what they are, and that they are separate conditions, though often related.

TLC stands for Trichotillomania Learning Centre. If they want to help other organisations/disorders, they should remain as they are and set up a new umbrella, a BRFB Organisation that covers all. I really dislike this current trajectory.

I often link to and represent TLC on platforms through content I create such as my videos (as a speaker with our condition), but I do not work for them. I create and link to help others and provide support. I am not governed by anyone, I am myself/speak my mind and will not be pressured into speaking what is wanted from me. I do not agree with generalising our conditions like this. Trichotillomania is Trichotillomania alone.  Dermatillomania should be allowed to stand in it’s own right.

*BFRB stands for: Body-focused repetitive behaviour (disorders), and there are more than just Trich and Derma.

(via beckie0)

— 5 days ago with 147 notes

This is the photo that everyone changed their facebook profile photo to, in 2011 for Trichotillomania Awareness Week. It does have skin picking there, which is so confusing, because it was pushed by TLC (Trichotillomania Learning Centre). For the last three years, I’ve pushed under the tags and titles: Trichotillomania Awareness Week. 

This is the photo that everyone changed their facebook profile photo to, in 2011 for Trichotillomania Awareness Week. It does have skin picking there, which is so confusing, because it was pushed by TLC (Trichotillomania Learning Centre). For the last three years, I’ve pushed under the tags and titles: Trichotillomania Awareness Week. 

— 5 days ago with 22 notes

#beckie0  #trichotillomania  #trichjournal  #brfb 
Confusion over BFRB/Trichotillomania Awareness week.

The 1st-7th of October used to be Trichotillomania Awareness Week. Is it now only called BFRB week?! Can we only talk about the BFRB we have?

It’s really confusing muddling them all together - my followers have already expressed confusion about BFRB’s. I also disapprove of pushing all these disorders under one umbrella. They are similar but not the same and not all that have one have another. They are all completely different and deserve awareness on their own!

I’d like to still campaign under the title “Trichotillomania Awareness Week” - as I’ve done so for three years. I don’t think I have the knowledge or capability to campaign for all disorders/teach about all disorders out there.

Anyone else share concerns/confusion?

— 5 days ago with 24 notes

#bfrb  #trichotillomania  #trichjournal  #confusion