My worries and anxieties.
-I know my body and hair growth rate well. It takes 8 months to recover on top. This is on my crown, not at the back. Not only does this mean that the hair I’ve lost was LONG (about 4 inches) and was part of my fringe, but will also take at least 2 years to reach it’s current-would-be-length again.
-In 4 months time, this bald area MAY start growing and if so, will stick up on the top of my head ridiculously and therefore I will tear it our again in my future due to it’s oddity.
-Because of it’s location, it’s very prominent and I cannot cut my hair to hide or help it. Acting slowly going out the window again. This is rather ridiculous.
-This baldness was not there on monday, my parents confirmed it’s absence. It’s happened in the last two days. In my past, I could tear our palm sized patches in 3 hours. Admittedly, this size is not alarming compared to the past, but it still alarms me greatly.
-It’s on the top of my head, I’m lucky it’s April, for would this be June, I’d be in serious trouble and require a hat to be glued to my head whenever out of doors. I have to be careful.
-Lastly and most importantly, people need to realise that it doesn’t stop now. Just because I’ve seen it, doesn’t mean I can stop it. If anything, it makes me more anxious and panic stricken. I know it’s there. This could get worse.
-If you think that once you have some hair back, you’re safe - you’re most certainly wrong. Trichotillomania never leaves, as I keep saying “it may take days, weeks, months, years, but ultimately, you will revert to tearing out all your hair”. Relapse is enviable, we will all relapse in our futures - but even so, it doesn’t make that pain any less when it happens.
-It’s not progress if it doesn’t stay for good. It’s temporary “happiness”. Stop putting me down that I must smile for what “progress” I make and also stop belittling me in how I feel. My Trich is mine, not yours to analyse.