Maybe it is better being in the dark about the unknown habit that you call hair pulling.
Even knowing that there is a name tells you that this is something that others have in order for it to be classified. In not knowing about the condition, you are unaware of the millions of people suffering just like you.
Yes, you have that feeling of being alone in the world with the condition (if you even acknowledge it as that) BUT at least you then haven’t got that foreboding, clear, terrifying future infront of you.
You haven’t got thousands of people to watch struggle and give you less hope of stopping the pulling. You are unaware of all those terrifying photographs and videos of girls/boys with bald patches or seeing middle aged women with permanent damage - that haunt you.
On your own, you have nothing to compare yourself to.
When you are aware of so much pain and bad endings, you can’t help but lead yourself/be lead there too.